What's the Story, Morning Glory?

I suppose this should be an introduction. of sorts.

this is my post, so what? why does anyone do this blog thing? it's a public diary, a place where anyone can say what they want. and it's fairly anonymous, which is fantastic. of course, if you know me then it's less anonymous, but we can't have everything, can we?

not that I tend to use the royal "we" very much. maybe I'll start. it's better than using the third person, which, personally, I find incredibly annoying. plus, I can use as many commas as I want and old English-teachers-turned-friends can't mark me off for it. bwa ha ha.

I'm here because I have so many things I want to talk about and a serious lack of time to spend annoying my friends with one-sided debates and drunken aggression. also because I'm far too lazy to put something together professionally and submit it to a magazine or newspaper. the gods know that I'd love to see my words in print, blasting the foolish and haranguing the narrow-minded. and regardless, or irregardless as I prefer, of what my beloved Ann says, there isn't a place for me in literature. I'm too scattered to really pull my stories together anyway.

as you might have noticed.

so, in brief, yes, I'm female, yes, I'm over 30, yes, I'm a frustrated artist, yes, I'm a new mother (and significant other), and, yes, I do love run-on sentences and commas. I'm also fairly abrasive, rude, stubborn, offensive, and possibly quite quite mad.

I have many things I want to do in this life, many accomplishments and goals that float through my brain and desires, but the ultimate goal is to rule the world. as I keep telling people, I have all the answers. they may not like them, but I have them. believe me, I tell them all the time what they should do. I can solve everything but humanity, and then I tend to follow the idea of survival of the fittest, and/or survival of those I like. when I rule the world, and I'm not that greedy, I don't want the universe or anything, just this planet, it will be a nicer, cleaner, happier place. I'm a parent now, and the American culture dictates that I turn more conservative. but I'm also poor, undereducated, bitter and sarcastic. so I can straddle the fence with the best of the Repulicrats and Democans (thank you Ani).

so voila. this is what you get for the first blog. a nothing, going nowhere and achieving no clarity or definition. mostly I just wanted to say, yeah, I gave this blog space an obscene name because it doesn't scare me. I don't intend to mince my words because of what readers might think. I hope to use this space for honest essays on the world and it's problems, on my life and it's problems, and on stupidity and the need to slap people every moment. I don't want to have to tell you again, but I have all the answers. try me . . .